Heal Me
by deleteddddddddddddd
Summary: Alli's trauma leaves her heart open for healing.
1. Fade to Black

**Heal Me **

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of its characters. I just own this laptop. This is waayyy more serious than Summer to Remember.

(Which I'm still working on by the way.)

Chapter 1: Fade to Black

Alli's POV

I panic as I find myself naked on the floor at the Ravine. What the heck was I doing here anyway? Empty cups and bottles of beer are laid out on the floor.

_***Flashback***_

_**The music from the party rings in my ear as I dance with this guy. He seems nice. **_

"_**Hey. You want a drink?"**_

"_**Sure! I am soo thirsty." I chime. He comes back with the drink. **_

"_**Bottoms up, babe." He anticipates. Willingly I chug that drink in a matter of seconds. **_

_**My eyesight began to blur and I feel a clammy hand clasp mine. **_

"_**Come with me sweetheart." **_

This can't happen to you. You're Alli Bhandari._ That kind of girl_. The smart, responsible little sister. Innocent. Right?

_**I stammer the words "Okaay" and hiccup. "Where are you taking me?" I giggle. **_

"_**To the after party room." He said. He lead me to a bedroom in a house. **_

"_**What are we gonna do in here?" I say. "I'm gonna have fun with you." He hissed under his breath.**_

_**I laid me on the bed. He began to unbuckle his belt and took off his green polo. As he stripped into just his boxers I rolled off the bed in angst to leave.**_

"_**You're not going anywhere bitch." I tried to open my mouth to scream but he shoved his tongue down my throat. I growled in agony.I tried to wriggle out of his grasp but his weight was unbearable. I kept trying. But he began to have his pleasure with me. He ripped my clothes off bit by bit. He stuffed my shirt in my mouth so I can't scream any louder. Just muffled howls escaped my lips. I gave up my struggle. Slowly things began to fade to black.**_

_***Flashback***_

I quickly put on the remains of my shirt and ran. I just ran and ran. My tears cut through the dirt and grime on my skin. The wind tore its way through my soul as I ran out of breath. I dropped to floor and sobbed. I'm in the middle of the sidewalk at dawn. I can't go back home. I don't know where to go I don't have an option. I stumble my way inside the house put of breath. I crawl up stairs trying to avoid Sav. I sink into my bed and hold on to my teddy bear. I weep myself to sleep.

_**Next Day**_

I wake up with my body aching. I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror. My mascara has ran down my cheeks. My eyes are puffy from the crying. Bruises trail my arms and legs. I run the water. I drench my self in the scorching water. No matter how hard I scrubbed he left his traumatizing marks on me. I slid down the shower. As every steaming drop hit my now pink skin from the scrubbing it felt like acid. I drown myself in my agony. I see flashes of his body on mine. His blubbery lips forced onto mine. His clammy callused hands touching me. I droned out the world. I attempted to step out of the shower but every step made me wince. Every time I close my eyes I see him. I slide an oversized hoodie of my brother's and placed on baggy jeans. I pulled my hair into a messy bun and slid on some sneakers. I ran down the stairs without greeting my family and walked my way to school.

**Read and Review!**


	2. Hush

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of its characters. I just own this laptop. **

**Chapter 2: Hush**

I walk into class and slide into a chair next to my best friend Clare **(Everything is in AU) **I wanted to spill everything right there, but I just didn't know the words to say. Usually we talk and pass notes to each other during class I didn't know how to start a conversation without venting on her. So I kept quiet while I scribbled down math equations.

"Alls what's with the Silent Treatment?" Clare whispered.

"It's nothing." I said weakly.

"Alli, I know when something's wrong. Spill."

"I-I can't." I said.

"Whenever you wanna talk..." Clare responded.

The bell rang and it was time to go to 2nd period. 3 more period of Clare trying to get my attention. Finally it's lunch time. I sit with Jenna and Clare of course.

"Alli is acting weird." Clare announces.

"Come on girl, we'll help." Jenna offers brightly.

"I don't think you can help with this." I answer icily."

"PMS." Jenna states.

"LOOK. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. YOU ARE MY PROBLEM." Next thing I know I'm running and crying out of the school.

"Alli! Wait!" Clare screams. I collapsed onto the steps trembling in fear. Clare tries to hold me but my first reflex is to scream.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! Don't touch me." I cry.

"Did somebody hurt you?" Clare asked concerning the bruises trailing from my neck.

"I don't know what happened. Last night when I went to the Ravine...a boy took me to a room and…raped me."

"Oh my god we need to get you to a doctor." She stated.

"No. I'm not going to draw any more attention to myself." I refuse.

"You won't get any better Alli." Clare responded.

"I'm just going to keep it our secret. Hush about it alright?" I tell her.

"Fine." Clare said icily.

I went back into the cafeteria and piercing eyes penetrate through me. I sit down and murmurs of "What's her problem?" and "What a wreck!" fill the room. I feel isolated. Now its just me in a big white room. No one else. I could still here the gossipy whispers and feel 1,000 eyes burning my skin. I can't breathe.

"ALLI"

"ALLI"

"Ms. Bhandari are you alright?"

I finally come to my senses and find myself in a doctors office.


	3. Open Field

**Heal Me**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of its characters. I just own this laptop. Thank you Moxxy for the inspiring review!**

**Chapter 3: Open Field **

"Clare. Why am I here when you told me not to?"

"Alli, you need help." Clare replies concerned. Why can't I just let people help me? Why am I so stubborn? Wait, what are they going to do to me!

"Ms. Bhandari, we need to see the damage. If you would lift up your hospital gown." The doctor asked casually. Is this normal?

"It's OK Alls he is here to help." Clare says reassuringly. I lift up my gown and Clare's mouth opens in horror at the sight of the black and blue patterns on my body.

"We are going to do a rape kit, to see if any of your attacker's bodily fluids are still on you. If this works out correctly, we will be able to trace his DNA and he will be in jail." The doctor said. They ran a few tests and I am negative for any STD's.

"Ms. Bhandari did you take a shower by any chance in the passed day or so?"

"Yes."

"Unfortunately, we will not be able to find any evidence of your attacker. In a few weeks or so you will come back for a pregnancy test." The doctor wrote on a piece of paper my next appointment.

"I might be pregnant!" I said in shock.

Clare and I walk out of the the doctors office and I burst into tears. Why do all the bad things happen to me? I walk up to the steps of my house worriedly.

"Should I tell them?" I ask.

"Of course!" Clsre responds, bring the best friend I know and listen to...sometimes.

"I-I can't. I don't know how." I disagree quickly.

"I know somewhere you can clear your mind." Clare tells me.

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><p>"Come on Alli take your shoes off!" Clare giggled. I did. I loved how the cool grass felt on my toes. As I lay in the sweet flowers I saw Clare running around me like a little girl.<p>

"My dad used to take me here when I was little. He told me when he was my age he would come here and relax." Clare told me.

"I know how to make things normal again." I say.

"Things will never be normal again, you just need to take care of yourself and heal." Clare took my hand and we ran and ran. Then we fell in the perfume of soil and cal lilies. At that moment my mind was empty and I was having pure bliss. I was panting and laughing at the same time. The sun began to set. The swirls pf oranges,purples,and reds spread across the sky.

"Thanks Clare. Your the best friend a girl could ever have. Even when I yelled at you you were still there." I said with a smile.

"Just lil ol' me." Clare chirped happily. "Lets go home."


	4. Safe and Sound

**Hello Everybody! Thanks to those to reviewed. This chapter is very special it is a song fic, hence the title Safe and Sound. Yup, Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift. I will be using a few verses. Today might be a double update because I don't write long chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or any of its characters. All rights to Taylor Swift**

**I highly recommend you listening to the song while reading this.**

_I remember tears streaming down your face_  
><em>When I said, I'll never let you go<em>  
><em>When all those shadows almost killed your light<em>  
><em>I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone<em>  
><em>But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight<em>

Alli tossed and turned in her bed tears drying on her chestnut cheeks. She couldn't help thinking of that night and how she might be pregnant. Flashes of him tackling her down and forcing himself onto her. "No, No," she panted quietly.

_Just close your eyes_  
><em>The sun is going down<em>  
><em>You'll be alright<em>  
><em>No one can hurt you now<em>  
><em>Come morning light<em>  
><em>You and I'll be safe and sound<em>

She squeezed her teddy bear as a fresh batch of tears flooded her chocolate brown eyes. The sun has set and she didn't have Clare to soothe her now. She turned to her side to stair at the stars out of the window, but all she could see was his eyes staring her down hungrily.

_Don't you dare look out your window darling_  
><em>Everything's on fire<em>  
><em>The war outside our door keeps raging on<em>  
><em>Hold onto this lullaby<em>  
><em>Even when the music's gone<em>

Darkness creeped in her pink filled room. She was all alone in a blank space and she felt a hand tugging on hers. She tried to let go but echoes of "I'm gonna have fun with you." clouded her thoughts and rang in her ears.

_Just close your eyes_  
><em>The sun is going down<em>  
><em>You'll be alright<em>

"Alli its okay."

_No one can hurt you now_  
><em>Come morning light<em>  
><em>You and I'll be safe and sound<em>

"Alli!"

_Just close your eyes_  
><em>You'll be alright<em>  
><em>Come morning light,<em>  
><em>You and I'll be safe and sound...<em>


	5. You Can Run, But You Can't Hide

**Heal Me**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of its characters. I just own this laptop. Thank you Moxxy and other reviewers!**

**Chapter 5: You Can Run but You Can't Hide**

"Alli, you can't hide forever!" Clare tells me. She takes me out of my bed and throws at me some jeans and a t shirt. Reluctantly, I go to the bathroom at put it on. As soon as I come out she drags me down the stairs and walks me to school.

"There! You can't leave! I told your parents you will be at school ALL DAY!" Clare taunted. I roll my eyes and we approach the steps together. I see the hallways flooded with kids. I see guys laughing and pushing each other and girls gossiping at their lockers. I never got comfortable from this. I try to stay as low-key as possible. Unfortunately that didn't work. Dave the boy who has had a crush on me for years now is coming up to me.

"H-Hey Alli what's going on?" He stammers blushing. I really don't have time for this.

"Heeeyyy Dave." I say waving and then dodge around him.

"Alli's fine. Really. " Clare reassures him.

A tan boy who is in my World Civ class nods at me and smiles. I immediately panic.

Is he after me? Why is he staring at me? What is going on? I quickly walk past him looking at the floor.

"Alli what was that about?" Clare asks.

"I think he's after me. Ssh he'll hear us." I tremble.

"No one is after you come on you'll be late for World Civ!"

I get into class and guess what the last seat available is. Next to Mr. Creep. I slide into my desk and scoot it as far from him as possible. Creep got embarrassed. Mr. Grey clears his throat.

"Ms. Bhandari is there a problem between you and Mr. Torres? Hmm?" I go up to his desk and whisper, "He is after me." Mr. Grey tries to stifle a laugh. He whispers back, "I'm sure he is." The thought scares me. A lot. He's probably behind it to.

After the final bell rings Clare is immediately by my side.

"You. Me. The Dot. Now!" She takes me to The Dot and orders a Chai Tea Latte.

"Alls relax. I know you are scared traumatized but there are guys who aren't trying to hurt you." With that thought…

"Hello. I'm Drew." Says Creep—I mean Drew. Whatever.

"Uh I have to go help Clare with her Math." I get up and drag a blushing Clare to the door.

"I need Math help to! Can I come?" He says with a smile.

"Clare's mom doesn't like boys over. Sorry." I state urgently. We run out the door.

"You can run Alls but you can't hide!" Clare says.

**It's really short. I know. But I will update 2morrow!**


	6. Tell

**Heal Me**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of its characters. I just own this laptop. Thank you Moxxy and other reviewers!**

**Chapter 6: Tell**

Every time I see Drew in the hallway he smiles at me. Its been a week since that whole he's after me thing. I don't trust anyone but Clare. I haven't even told my parents yet. The bruises have faded away but the memory is etched in my brain.

"How could I tell them?" I ask Clare. I have been pushing it to the side and Sav has been noticing how weird I've been acting. I haven't even been coming down for dinner lately or talking to them.

"Just sit them down and tell them. I'm sure they'll understand." Clare tells me. It's also been 3 weeks and I am coming back for another appointment with the doctor.

"Alright it's about time I should." I sigh. I'm so nervous. We get up and walk our way to school. I spent all weekend at Clare's.

**I really hate what the writers did to them. But it is funny to see Clare's fiesty side whenever Alli and Clare talk. I guess its the end of them :(**

We walked up to school and went inside. In the hallway I spotted Drew, he saw me and smiled sweetly-sickly sweet. I still don't trust that boy. Like a reflex, I looked away.

**Drew's POV**

I really like Alli but every time she sees me she looks away. I don't know how to talk to her. Usually this isn't a problem with other girls. But Alli isn't just some girl. She's special and deserves someone to take care of her, love her. I want to be that guy but she'll never let me in. 1st period is World Civics, the only class I have with Alli. She's so smart but lately she hasn't been raising her hand in class, or writing notes like she usually does. She tries to sit as far from me as possible, another thing I don't understand before she actually had no problem with my presence, yet she never really cared about me. I need that to change.

**Alli's POV**

Today was grueling as always. Clare insists I get some fresh air so she took me outside at the Dot.

"Alls you need to let your hair down. I'm supposed to be the uptight one." Ugh-Drew here he comes.

"Hey Alli I was wondering if you wanted to go to Little Miss Steaks with me."

"Um, well Drew-" I start.

"She'd love to!" Clare says forcibly. I really want to punch her in the face right now but I have other things to do.

"Oh, she'll be there Drew." Clare says patting him on the back. Drew looks pretty pleased and he walks off happily.

"I'm going home." I say icily and walk out.

I get home and get right down to business.

"Family meeting." I say.

Everyone sat at the table wondering what I have to say.

"Alliah if you would like something, no need to go on a rant now." Dad says.

"That's not it. I have something really serious to tell you."

"Then what is it dear?" Mom asks.

"I went to this party-"

"Why were you out Alliah?" Dad tells me.

"Well, I-can we just forget that for a minute. I met this guy and-"

"Why were you with boys Alliah?" My mother questions. Soon I begin to cry. I can't take it anymore.

"He raped me! I went there and met him and he raped me and hit me! I might be pregnant. Clare and I went to the doctor's and he told me I need to take a pregnancy test." I blurted with tears pouring down my face. My parents look floored and Sav just punched a whole in the wall. I was really scared. THat night was just silence.

* * *

><p><strong>Today I want some REAL REVIEWS. Like constructive criticism, suggestions. If you want to ask me something PM me. I'm online from 5:30-10:00 pm except for weekends. I will be writing full time next week.<strong>


	7. Negative

**Hello fellow readers! Here is the next chapter to Heal Me.**

**Chapter 7: Negative**

****After Sav punched the hole in the wall and my parents thought I was pregnant things have been awkward. My mother agreed to go to the clinic for my pregnancy test today. I forgot I still have that date with Drew though.

"How did the parents react?" Clare asked.

"Well, Sav freaked out and is on a bounty hunter chase for the guy. My mother is being a little supportive, but my father won't talk, eat, sleep. He just sits in that chair in the living room. I'm worried and I want to know if you would go to my next appointment at the clinic with me?" I answered.

"Of course, I'd go with you! Everything will be alright. On happier terms, what about that date with Drew?" Clare said.

"Look, I don't have time for boys-"

"But you do need to relax! And Drew will show you fun. Look, if I go with Adam, it'll be better."

"Fine!" I whined.

"Good, so when is your appointment?" Clare asked.

"In a couple of hours. 5:00 p.m." I told her.

"Alls, it 4:30! Let's go!" Clare said frantically.

At the doctor's office, my mother is pacing around the perimeter of the small room. I'm shaking all over. Clare is praying intently. That was the longest 3 minutes of my life.

"Good news Miss Bhandari, you failed!" the doctor told me casually.

"What?" I asked.

"Well honey the pregnancy test you failed it."

"I"M PREGNANT!" I screeched.

"The test results came back negative you aren't pregnant."

"Oh, Allah thank you!" My mom praised.

Clare's face lit up as she hugged me. "I knew you'll be alright!"

"Mrs. Bhandari, can Alli celebrate with me at Little Miss Steaks?" Clare asks. I'm never going to hear the end of this.

"Of course and I'm sure Savtaj and Baba would be proud to hear this news!" My mother chimed.

"You will be back here if we can have a sample of your clothing from the night of your attack to trace the tiniest bit of DNA." the doctor told us. Inever touched that pile of clothes on the edge of my bed. It was too sickening.

"Uh, sure." I respond. We exit the doctor's office and head home.


	8. Lassi

**I'm back! I'm SO sorry, I've been working on Summer to Remember and the sequel and I never got to this story in a while. Check those out please!But I have this long awaited chapter for you…**

**Lassi**

**Alli's POV**

My mother was chirping around the house and dancing to Indie Rock— and her HATES Indie Rock. I'm happy believe me, but I don't want to go crazy about. I going to give the doctor the sample of my clothing and go back to the semi normal life I used to have.

"Alli get up, get ready to go out and be happy! You are just sitting there. I'm calling Dr—"

"Look. I don't want to go out with Drew, let alone anybody. I just want to—"

Ironically enough Drew was at my bedroom door with a rose and hurt expression.

"Drew, "I began.

"No, no. I understand. You want to relax right." Drew said lightly smiling to ease the awkwardness.

"See you Monday Alli." He said laying the rose at the foot of my bed.

I go downstairs to the living room and find Drew talking to my mother.

"Why are you leaving? We were all about to go to Ali Ababa's Indian Eatery. Little Miss Steaks is too crowded. Join us! Please!" Drew couldn't refuse. With my mother's sweet inviting tone of voice you can't say no.

"Uh, sure." He uttered shyly.

**Drew's POV**

The restaurant wasn't like anyone I went to. There was fabric and beads and lanterns way different from Little Miss Steaks. Their food was amazing. The only problem was that Alli's parents were doing all of the talking.

"Alliah just LOVES math. She is very smart. I'm always proud of her." Mr. Bhandari went on about Alli and Sav.

"Oh and Savtaj he's is a musical prodigy!" After a while I didn't listen to anything until l Alli said, "Can you pass the chutney?" I came out of my daze immediately. As I passed her it our fingertips touched and she pulled away instantly. Moments like this make me wonder.

"How is everyone's dinner?" Clare piped up.

"Mine is amazing. I love curry." I said. In an attempt to break the ice I asked, "How about yours, Alli?"

"Fine." she said folding her napkin in a neat triangle.

"Well, who's up for dessert? It is quite a celebratory time!"

"Alli and Sav loved *_lassi_!" Mrs. Bhandari stated.

"You make the best Mrs. Bhandari!" Clare complimented sweetly. This dinner is going well for everyone except Alli. Once dessert came out I could see the tiniest glint of happiness in Alli's eyes. She slurped that think down in a matter of seconds.

"BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP!" Alli blushed and everyone at the table laughed including her.

"I haven't seen you smile in a while Alliah." Mrs. Bhandari said.

"You should smile more often. You have a nice smile." I added. That was the highlight of my evening.

***I did my share of research. It's a milkshake/smoothie type of thing. With mango, yogurt, milk, nuts.**

**Review PLEASE! Special thanks to werewolf lover8. For alerting and reviewing( FINALLY).**

**See you soon!**


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